bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
