a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
