Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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