i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
