I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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