Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
