We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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