Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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