WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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