I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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