She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
