Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
