and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
This is my gift to your gina
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
