NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
