I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
