i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
