Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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