dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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