We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
