GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize