I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
