Dual....:-)
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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