Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize