rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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