Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize