What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
