return my video game
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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