I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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