you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Randomize
