that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Randomize
