Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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