The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
