i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize