Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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