bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
