As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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