but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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