I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
