Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
