Having a random hookup so left but love u
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
