i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize