KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
