party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
