in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
