I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
