is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
