How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
