you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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