Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
