She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
try to milk me bitch
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
