may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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