when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
