Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
if only i could text you this smell
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
