For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
two words...techno handjob
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
