I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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