Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
