its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
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