I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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