so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Blood and glitter go together right?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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