I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Randomize
