and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
