Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
