If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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