no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I don't think brook has ever known best
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
