You're completely useless in the revolution.
Just cropdusted the office
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
