There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Welp...herpes.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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