i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I skipped work to stalk him.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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