whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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