hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize