bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
