WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
