Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
