So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
