I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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