he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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