You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
