You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize