margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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