Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(352): View more from Florida

She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.

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(931): View more from Tennessee

woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?

(615): View more from Tennessee

New experience?

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(917): View more from New York City

i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Im so hungover

(248): View more from Michigan

Come over i have rolls

(201): View more from New Jersey

Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?

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(807): View more from Ontario

I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied

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(443): View more from Maryland

shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy

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(702): View more from Nevada

You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals

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(917): View more from New York City

When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.

(347): View more from New York

It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.

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