OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
