Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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