i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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