You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize