Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
